Ugh, I am in a very blah mood today.  I think it's a combination of things, and of my hormones going a bit crazy, but that doesn't make it any better.  I have no motivation to do any work (I don't think I've done much since around noon).  I want to hang out with people, but the HH awards are tonight so all my theatre friends will be there.  So I'll prolly just go home and hang out with my kitty, who has been very needy lately.  LOL. 

I guess I don't have all that much to say.  Just trying to procrastinate from working....ah well.  Back to the grind.

Oh boy do I have spring fever!

I honestly cannot do anything at work right now.  I am just that spaced out.  I will buckle down this afternoon though, and I might as well work late since all I really ever do is go home and watch tv anyway.  Might as well be productive.

I'm trying hard to not rely on other people.  I'm trying to not bother other people with the things that are on my mind and to keep them to myself.  I think it's easier that way.  I'm okay with building that wall back up for a while until I'm comfortable again.  I don't know when that will be though.  I mean I'm pretty open, heart on my sleeve and that sort of thing, but there's only a couple of people who I really trust, and right now neither of them much like me.  So it goes I guess.  I have my kitty - I can just be a crazy cat lady.  Or a not crazy one-cat lady.  haha

Anyway, I want to take a nap in the sunshine!  I am so excited for spring!  Trying to be lighthearted.  Not easy, but hey I've taken acting classes, I can sure try and pretend.

I guess that's all I have.  I guess in the spirit of what I've just written I should keep these entries short and simple and not too deep.  I don't expect people to spend their time reading my thoughts and emotions, much like I don't expect people to spend their time dealing with my thoughts and emotions in person.

Happy Thursday...?

Yeah, sorry I haven't been around much lately.  Things have been busy.  Since my last post - I got a cat!  Her name is Sadie and I got her from the shelter.  She is super sweet and I'm really happy to hae her.  It does give me something else to focus on, and I think it's made me happier lately.  :)

Work is crazy busy.  I got to go to NYC for work and take my mom with me, which was neat, but also really tiring.  I just feel like there's too much to do at work and I don't have enough time.

I don't really have any deep thoughts.  I'm pretty sure my medication is definitely flatlining my emotions, which I'm actually really okay with considering my other option is being a crying mess.  I can handle being this way for a while so I can at least have the capacity to deal with my problems instead of just being upset all the time.

I guess that's it for now.  Life is pretty great, considering what my life has been lately.

Well, now that I have a working computer at home, I can finally post again! Today turned out to be a really fantastic day (I think it helped that I wasn't at work and the sun was shining).

First I went to my eye doctor, who didn't tell me any horrible news other than that the glasses I'm wearing aren't fit exactly right, but of course they're not - I ordered them over the internet! Everyone keeps telling me how cute they are, and I know they are, but I think I'm still going to get new lenses for my old frames which I still love because they are cute and simple.

Then to the orthodontist, where they took off my braces!! Yay!!! I took myself expensive food shopping at Whole Foods to celebrate (well...$20 worth) and got some sushi for lunch. And also this Icelandic chocolate which is pretty amazing.

Then back home to pack up my computer to take with me. I went to the doctor's office where I had to wait for forever, but didn't get a parking ticket (didn't have enough change in the meter, and I couldn't really leave anyway). She prescribed me even more medicine, but if it works then that's fine with me.

Afterwards back to the orthodontist for my retainer. I have invisalign retainers for my top teeth, a clear one for the day and a more heavy duty one for at night. My bottom teeth have a permanent retainer behind them. So it does feel kind of weird to wear, and I think my gums are going to have to get used to them, but they're just like the whitening gel trays I had in college that matched my teeth, and at least these don't have nasty tasting whitening gel in them!

A bit delayed, I went over to the Humane Society to look at kitties! I've been seriously thinking about getting a cat for a few months now, and finally bit the bullet and asked the roommates. So I figured I'd just go and take a look. Ha! Silly me. I love all of them, but I fell in love with Blizzard. She's a torti, about 1 year old (she's a stray) and the most laid back cat ever. She was really sweet and let me hold her and didn't try to worm her way out, and she even let me hold her paws (which means grooming her might be pretty easy). She's been there since really early December so I'm glad that I found her. I am the first to put in an application. I think most people prefer the cats that were given up by their owners, so they know something about them, and are reluctant to adopt strays. But oh she was just so sweet and cute. So I put in my application and they'll call and interview me and I could have her next week! It's all happening so fast, which is kind of scary, but I know I want a cat, I love cats, this isn't a passing fancy, and I know I will take wonderful care of her (I spoil cats...hehe). But, I have a week to figure out if it is something I want to do, or just something I think I want to do.

Then I went to the Apple store to get my computer fixed. Well, turns out it was the hard drive. Thank goodness that I backed pretty much everything up recently (plus I never really had anything super important on it) and that it was still under warranty, so it was free. While I was waiting for my computer to get fixed, I ate at Subway. Yes, I can bite into sandwiches now and not get all sorts of food in my teeth! hehe. And then I went and spent way too much money at Sephora. But I figure I deserve some new lip color and lip balm now that I get to show off my mouth. I also bought some really nice blush (which I had run out of).

Phew so it was a long and eventful day, but really nice and relaxing. I am not too excited for tomorrow with all the work facing me, but at least I know I'll be busy!

Why do I have to be so in love with someone who makes me so sad a lot of the time?  I don't understand it.  I can't break up with him because I don't know what I'd do without him, but he makes me cry so much.  It just doesn't seem fair, which is a dumb thing to say I guess, but is true.